Silent Memory
by derivereine
Summary: Sequel to Turn My Way, Baby. Amber Mardeyn was left in the road at the end of Turn My Way, Baby. This starts off where it ended. Can everybody rebuild their lives once more? JeffxOC
1. Chapter 1

**I keep my promises. **

**Yes, Amber got hit by a car at the end of TMWB.**

**Is she dead?**

**Well read on and see.**

**Review. (As I know you've all been waiting)**

**Charlie xo**

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**Chapter 1-Don't Forget Me**

_Jeff's P.O.V_

_World Wrestling Entertainment is sad to announce Amber 'Electra' Mardeyn was left in a coma after being hit by a car.  
Our thoughts and prayers are with her._

That post on the website confirmed it. The rumour was true-Amber was in a coma. The details surrounding the accident showed her to have been drunk and depressed at the time it happened.

It was not ruled attempted suicide, simply an unfortunate accident. Wrong place, wrong time.

That was two months ago and Amber still isn't awake.

Brittany, her doctor friend, had been told to tell us all that it was unlikely she'd ever wake up. The trauma was far too excessive for her to cope with in an awakened state. She'd been moved to her home in hopes the familiar surroundings would help her to come round, Brittany was looking after her on orders of the WWE.

After all, why wouldn't they want their top Diva back in comission?

Me? I just want my girlfriend back.

I want to be able to hear her tell me that she loves me just one more sweet time.

I need to get going now, Amber had instructed a letter to be read out should she ever fall into a coma.

Maybe she dreamt about it.

* * *

The room was packed full of Amber's friends and her lone family member. She looked lost, like half of her was missing. Estelle's hair was unkempt, her eyes red and her clothes dirty.

The assigned official waited for silence before he started on the letter.

"First and foremost, Jeff, I love you. Knowing me, I won't of been able to cope with being loved to such a degree and will of gone off the rails. This is not your fault. Chances are, I will not ever awaken. I wish for you to find somebody else and learn to love again.

Estelle. My darling little sister. The holes in our childhood and indeed in our relationship will never be mended now. I want you to know I would give anything to be able to sit and talk with you about why our parents left and why I left you, twice. I should've stayed with you all along. Together we are strong. I love you."

The woman paused, this was obviously getting to her as well as Jeff and Estelle, who by now was hysterical. Like, wailing and screaming and shaking hysterical.

"Tiffany, don't kill me for addressing you with 3 extra letters. These things do sound better written the proper way. You are truly my friend, babe, and please tell Estelle everything she wants to know about me. If you marry John, please do not wait for me to wake up, nor do I want to be present. I love you.

Randy, perhaps darling, things were meant to be just like this. If you're wondering if I love you, the answer is yes. Maybe one day I will return to you.

Stephanie. Thank you for everything. I hope to come back one day, if only for a while. Talk to me like nothing has changed, Steph. Love.

Glenn and Mark, I owe you everything. It is because of you that I became so successful and I will always remember your patience. I'll stop now, because people will start to realise that you're really nice guys. Love you.

Melina, YOU'RE MY GIRL. Please don't be so upset by my absence, darling. Maybe they'll give you the push you so richly deserve. I love you oodles.

Shannon, shit this is going to ruin Jeff and I if I ever wake up, isn't it? I'm sorry for how I treated you, Shan. You're so sweet and I love you.

John, take care of Tiff for me. I know you're going to be out for a while, so if you still are whilst I'm...sleeping, then come and talk to me. Loves."

Everybody in the room looked at each other and fell silent.

How the hell did Amber know what was going to happen to her?

* * *

Brit sipped some of her water as she watched Amber intently for any signs of movement. After 10 minutes, she sighed and went to leave the room "You're evil, girl"

"She's my sister. It runs in the family" A voice nearly identical to Amber's almost laughed

Brittany smiled "Hello Estelle. I'll be upstairs if you need me"

"Thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for us all." Estelle smiled, watery eyed as Brit left. She sat at her sister's bedside, put her head on Amber's stomach and cried.

Amber's hand twitched and pulled gently on Estelle's hair. That was enough for her to know not to give up yet.

**&I'll still be thinking of you and the times we had.  
Stronger than death.  
81-MNA-**

Estelle stared at her cell phone. She was changing networks immediatley.

* * *

Jeff came to see Amber two days later and, unsurprisingly, he looked awful.

"I feel so guilty" he whispered to Brit as she let him into Amber's home

"Don't. She said it in the letter that it wasn't your fault and that, should she not wake up, you need to move on" Brit rubbed Jeff's back soothingly as he sat beside Amber's bed

"Yeah. Can you give me a minute or two with her alone?" Jeff asked and Brit nodded, saying she would be in the kitchen.

Twirling Amber's hair in his fingers, he finally broke down.

"Why have you left me? What did I do? How did I ever hurt you?" he sobbed "Everybody said you had a bad past. I couldn't believe it when you told me what you'd been through. All I ever did was love you, Amber. And all you ever did was hurt me"

His final words came out as a whisper, as if they were poison to everybody.

"What am I going to do without you?"

All of a sudden, his cell phone buzzed and he checked the message.

**& If you want, I'll try to love again.  
Don't ever forget me.  
81-MNA-**

The sender was unknown, nobody picked up when Jeff tried to call and although the signature was random, it was not a network message.

Suddenly, Jeff was not so sure what on earth was happening.

He left, calling goodbye to Brittany.

She wandered back into the living room and rolled her eyes "You'll be dramatic on your death bed" She paused and sat on the end of the bed;

"I suppose I might as well join in with the depressed masses. Sam is showing now, causing Randy to put on a sickening display of being a loving husband. Everybody is still wondering how he's coping without you being there for him. Of course, nobody has realised that I've lost my best friend too. No, I'm just your fucking doctor, Amber. We haven't been friends for years, shared good times, laughter and wasted too many pictures on ourselves. There aren't stupid fucking songs on the stupid fucking radio that make me break down everytime I hear them!" Brit cried and slumped forwards onto Amber's legs "Just wake up for God's sake, Ams."

The breeze from the open window caught one of the tags on one of the many large bouquets currently situated near the bedside, at the same time clanging a windcharm in the corner. The doctor looked up, startled.

_Should I go back, should I go back, should I? I feel alone and tired. Should I go back, should I go back, should I?  
__I swear I won't forget you._

Brittany stared at the handwriting on the card and laughed "Of course."


	2. Chapter 2: In The Loop

**What do you know? A new chapter. New readers-Read Turn My Way, Baby! Or else you'll be confused soon! The words from Estelle's text belong to the song 'Because I Want You' by Placebo.**

**&Just to alert you all, I couldn't resist the ending. The suspense was killing me! I apologise in advance. I'm like a man sometimes. Things happen too soon ;)**

**Reviewwww xo.**

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**Chapter 2-In The Loop**

_Two days later_

Jeff sat on one of the boxes backstage and put his head in his hands. Being here, away from Amber, without Amber...it wasn't right.

The familiar scent of 'Curious' by Britney Spears filled his senses and he looked up to see Candice stood in front of him.

"Jeff. How…how are you?"

"I'm fine…yeah. I'm doing good today" Jeff lied. Candice twisted her mouth, something she always did when she knew he was lying to her

"No you aren't. Amber didn't respond, did she?"

As he heard the words leave her mouth, his face crumpled. Candice sat beside him and put her arms around him as he cried.

Randy saw this, watching from the shadows, turned on his heel and left.

* * *

_Hey, you've reached Amberrr! I can't take your call right now, I'm probably hungover or something, so leave me a message and we can grab dinner later!_

Estelle hung up upon hearing her sister's voicemail. The idea that the text had come from her was a stupid one anyway.

**Fall into you is all I ever to do.  
When I hit the bottle cause I'm afraid to be alone.  
Tear us in two, tear us in two.  
81-MNA**

Estelle stared at her cell phone screen-she'd changed networks as soon as she'd got the first text, no way was she changing again. Instead, she hit reply.

* * *

Brittany was busy. She had various medical files in front of her, mainly of sports stars wishing to be cleared to compete.

She hated to disappoint, but there was no way she was letting John Cena back in the ring before March, no matter how much he pleaded with her.

Or how many times he took her out to dinner and flirted with those puppy dog eyes. She'd threatened to report his behaviour back to Tiffany if he hadn't stopped by their next meeting. Oddly enough, the flirting had stopped, something for which Brit was glad.

She'd of caved in if he flashed her those dimples one more time after begging.

As she signed at the bottom of the page to inform John he wasn't allow to compete, she heard something beep. After searching, unsuccesfully, in her office, she ventured into Amber's room and found her cell phone, situated on the table furthest away from the bed.

Puzzled, she checked Amber's heart rate from the last half hour and discovered it was constant, she hadn't moved or woken up. Brit frowned and flipped the phone open, to discover that there was now an unread message.

**Who the hell are you? Why do you have my sister's cell phone?  
What's going on? Are you awake Amber?  
...Is this you?  
Estelle xxx**

Brittany dropped the phone and moved to Amber's bedside once more "Very funny, Ams. It's just me and you. Tell me what's going on"

As Brit waited expectantly, Amber did not stir. She was still, as it appeared, comatose.

* * *

**I know you'll check this when you wake your gorgeous ass up, Amz.  
I've got three words for you, baby.  
Jeff and Candice.  
You need to stop them. The rest of us are powerless.**

**Randy xxxxx**

The email was sent shortly after Randy had witnessed Candice comforting Jeff. He knew it wouldn't take much longer for her to worm her way into his heart once again.

* * *

As it turned out, Randy had been correct. Candice smiled to herself as Jeff talked about his upcoming match for the WWE Title over a perfectly cooked dinner. Her divorce from her husband was yet to be finalised, but she was moving on from him rather quickly.

After all, she'd been in love with Jeff for a long time and now that Amber was out of the way, she could finally, finally, do something about it.

"Are you going to win?" Candice asked as she swallowed her food. As she spoke, Jeff noticed exactly what she had ordered. A tall glass of water and a chicken salad was not what he would call 'food'. Amber would never have ordered something like that-she'd be drinking either a Jack Daniels and coke or a glass of wine and be eating something filling, like pasta or steak, or they'd be sharing a huge pizza.

This irritated Jeff- Candice was way too skinny in his eyes anyway. For a woman of her ethnicity she should've had at least some curve that wasn't silicone. Amber had curves, just enough of them. Whenever she was getting skinny, she would notice. She always made a point to be above a size 2 or 4, unlike the other Diva's.

"Probably not. They don't trust me enough yet" Jeff rolled his eyes and cut some more of his steak, holding a piece up to Candice "Try it."

She bit her lip "I'm on a diet, Jeff. No red meat, carbohydrates or alcohol. I need to lose 3 pounds"

Jeff raised his eyebrows, eat the steak himself and said nothing. It remained that way for the rest of the meal.

* * *

Tiffany flicked through the channels, bored, as she waited for John to get home. She had been given time off the WWE, like Estelle, to get over Amber's sudden condition. By now, she felt that she didn't need it.

The door opened and then banged shut again, with a call of 'I'm home!'

She rolled her eyes "Finally"

John walked in and kissed her neck "Sorry I'm so late, I ran into an old friend"

"Tell your friend to stop wearing Dior's Pure Poison. It knocks me sick" Tiffany spat "Go and shower. I'll ignore the hickey on your neck"

"I..."

"Got attacked by a vacuum cleaner?" Tiff snorted "Hurry up, or else I'm seriously going to throw you out"

"It's my home" John protested

"Darling," Tiff spun round in her seat "It's our home. Now go and shower, that perfume really is revolting"

John smiled, kissed her and ran upstairs. Tiff sighed; she couldn't put up with this much longer.

* * *

Brittany sighed as she moved away from the bed "Guess today just isn't my day, huh?"

"It could be worse" The accent. The husky voice. The slight tone of humour "You could be in a coma"

Brit span around to see Amber the same as she left her moments before "Like you, Ams?"

A trace of a smile appeared on Amber's face, her eyes still shut and her body still motionless "Like me."


	3. Chapter 3: Pieces

**Alright, it's back in honour of the main man himself!  
MAJOR props to Chantal for re-igniting my enthusiasm.**

**This isn't very long, but it's an update, right?**

**The lyrics in the text belong to The 69 Eyes.**

**Charlie xo**

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**Chapter 3-Pieces**

"I swear to God, she woke up and talked to me!" Brittany protested to Amber's doctor, David Matthews

"Brittany, please. That's impossible."

Brit sighed "I thought so too. I swear, David, she spoke to me. She lay still and kept her eyes closed, but she spoke to me!"

David surveyed the younger doctor for a second or two "You've been working far too hard with these athletes and you haven't been able to cope with your grief properly, Brittany."

The last words he said went unheard, as Brit screamed and slammed the door on her way out.

* * *

"I want Jeff to marry me, Maria. You know how much time he wasted on Amber when he and I could've been happy." Candice looked at her best friend sincerely

"Look, Candy, Jeff...he's just not that into you." Maria explained, biting her bottom lip as she 'broke' the news.

"He might not be yet. But you mark my words, he will be" Candice's eyes gleamed

"Consider them marked" Estelle's harsh voice caused the women to turn round in shock. She smirked at them both "Afternoon ladies. I hope I remind you of somebody"

* * *

"Listen, Matt, I keep getting these text messages and so does Estelle." Jeff walked along the sidewalk with his brother "They have to be connected"

"Man, are you doing shit again?" Matt looked at Jeff with his eyebrows raised "You're talking stupid, Jeff. Amber is in a coma. She's like this far" Matt held his fingers an inch apart "From being brain dead. She's not texting you"

Jeff just stared at Matt "She is nowhere near brain dead and I'll prove it to you!"

Matt looked at Jeff once more, studying his brother's face intently "Alright, man. Prove it"

"_Hey, you've reached Amberrr! I can't take your call right now, I'm probably hungover or something, so leave me a message and we can grab dinner later!" _Jeff's cell phone speaker blasted out Amber's voicemail.

"Because that proves you're not insane, dude" Matt rolled his eyes, "I'm trying to understand how hard this is for you, but come on man!"

Jeff held up his cell once more, to show Matt that he had a new text message "See?! It's her!"

**Though I'm standing by your side  
I feel so lonely I could cry  
If I could feel my heart tonight...**

**We're nearly there, J.  
81-MNA**

"You've got to be kidding me" Matt said, softly "If that's really her, then she's awake"

"The only thing I don't get" Jeff paused, "Is the 81-MNA part"

Matt's logical brain analysed the information for a second "What year was she born?"

"1981."

"And what are her initials?"

"Amber Nicole Mardeyn, so ANM" Jeff answered, confused "What does this have to do with anything?"

Matt smiled "You just answered your previous question"

"I did?" Jeff stared at his older brother "Alright, I know my brain was never as good as yours but-"

"81-MNA. 1981, Mardeyn Nicole Amber. There's your answer." Matt grinned "Not only does this prove I'm smarter than you, it proves that you're right."

"I'm right about Amber being awake?" Jeff said, shutting his cell phone with a snap "Dude. Amber's awake!"

His cell phone began to ring as they carried on talking about Amber "It's Brit, Matt, hold on a second" Matt fell silent "What is it?"

"It's Amber, Jeff." Brittany's voice was choked with sobs "She's gone"

"Gone?" Jeff echoed, "Like, dead and gone?"

"No! God no! I left to get some groceries and I came back to check on her-" Brit paused to control her voice "And she was gone!"

"I'll call you back...I...I have to go" Jeff hung up and looked to his brother "Amber's gone"

* * *

"How did I do?" Brit looked at Amber who was admiring her reflection and tutted.

"Sorry, I missed looking at myself whilst I was actually in a coma. You did great" Amber beamed at her friend and returned to the mirror "Before you ask, I've been awake for about two weeks."

"I don't believe you! You're so evil!" Brit stared at her friend incredulously "How long are you going to hide for?"

Amber smiled at her reflection "As long as it takes."

* * *

"Tiff, baby, how long are you going to be away for?" John sat on the end of the bed as Tiffany packed her clothes up, "Why are you even leaving?"

Tiff looked at her boyfriend tearfully "Because you're supposed to stop me."

As John looked at his girlfriend, he realised just how much he loved her "Marry me"

"What?" Tiff stopped packing and turned to John once more "If this is your attempt of-"

After John realeased her from his kiss she stared up at him "Yes."

* * *

Estelle stood in the locker room, alone. Her sister had left her before, and she'd fallen apart because of it.

She wasn't about to let her life fall apart again. Brushing her now dirty blonde hair out of her red eyes she sighed at her tired reflection.

Without her sister, she was nothing.


	4. Chapter 4: Coming Clean

**Alright, alright I checked my poll and Silent Memory beat out Ring Of Love by one vote, so you're getting this first.**

**It's short, I'm sorry. I wanted to give you something on this, I guess.**

**I'm beginning to hate my own damn story, so this one won't be as long at Turn My Way, Baby, but it'll cover more time. From now on, unless notified in italics, this will be in Amber's point of view.**

**I guess after creating Her Killer Smile, Amber isn't that interesting to me anymore.**

**Charlie xoxo**

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****Chapter 4- Coming Clean**

I looked over my shoulder at Brittany, "What?! You've been looking at me like that for the last twenty minutes and it's distracting me from The Hills."

"Amber, you have to tell Estelle." Brittany sighed, "How can you not?"

"Estelle can't hold her own water, Brit."

"What?"

I laughed, "It's an English expression, meaning that you can't keep a secret."

"Oh." Brittany nodded, "What does that have to do with her?"

I rolled my eyes, "It means that she'd tell everybody!"

"That's a fair point, but you can't not tell her." Brit sighed as she eat some popcorn, "And just what the hell are we going to do with this whole, "Amber's gone missing" shit?"

As I realised that I liked Heidi more than I liked Lauren, I gasped, "No way!"

"What? What?"

"Oh, sorry, Brit, were you talking?" I asked innocently. Damn, I always hated Heidi until now!

"Yeah, I was asking you WHAT THE HELL WE'RE GOING TO DO!"

"Chill out. The "missing" shit just gives me time to do nothing." I shrugged, "I'll tell Estelle if you want me to."

"God! Sometimes I want to kill you!" Brit sighed in frustrastion, "Thankfully, I know you'll probably get to yourself before I do."

I just rolled my eyes as she stormed out of the room and dialled a number that was going to change the course of things forever.

* * *

Tiff paced up and down the hotel room that she and John shared. In a little over five hours she'd be officially back as a Diva, teaming with Melina against Maria and Ashley. She knew the match would be terrible, as she was being trained by Amber and Finlay, contact with the latter of whom had dried up weeks ago.

Simply put, she was nervous about not only the match, but the ring on her finger and who, if anybody, it had previously belonged to.

* * *

"Hello?" She took her time answering the phone, which was unusual for Estelle, "How did you come to own this phone?"

"It's my phone, you idiot." I laughed, "I bought it from some mall in Florida."

"...Amber?" Estelle's voice cracked, "Is that you?"

"I trust you still have time off?" I asked as I munched on the popcorn that Brit had left behind.

"Yeah, I do."

"Well then come over. We need to talk."

"Why are you doing this, Am?" Estelle sounds confused. Good, that means that everything is working as it should be.

"I can't explain it unless you're across from me, face to face, Estelle. Hurry up, I'm on a TV marathon and I can already hear the opening music of The Hills."

"I'll be ten minutes."

"Fine. See ya in ten." I hung up and walked back through to my lounge. I missed MTV.

* * *

"How long have you been awake?"

I brushed my hair behind my ears, "I was never in a coma."

"What?!" Estelle shreiked, "You're kidding me."

"Yeah, I am. I was in a coma for a week, I woke up the first time you came to see me."

"So that's why you pulled my hair."

"Yeah." I smiled, "And also why you've been getting texts off me."

"They can't all have been sent by you directly."

"Not all of them, no. Actually none of them were, I set them up with the phone company before I walked out in front of the car."

Estelle stared at me, "That was deliberate?"

I laughed, "It was a set up, sis. Do you honestly think that I'd be alive after that if it wasn't?"

"You...set this _whole thing _up?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Estelle was bewildered and rightly so.

"I thought you'd never ask." Brit leant in the doorway with a smile on her face, "Go ahead, fruit loop, tell her why."

"I wanted to know what love was."

"Come on, Amber, really tell her why." Brit by now sat to my left, spread out on the couch.

"You can't say no to the living dead girl." I smiled; this was the best thing I'd ever though of.

"So your career can't fail, men can't say no to you and people have to do whatever you want?" Estelle asked, sipping her water.

"In summary, yes."

Estelle grinned, "Count me in, Ams"

"That's just what Steph said." I smirked and turned my attention back to The Hills.

* * *

"John, I can't do this." Tiffany raked her hands through her hair, her expensive diamond ring catching the light attractively.

He smiled at her, placing a sweet kiss on her lips, "Yes you can."

"It's against Candice and she hates me."

"Tiff, you never used to be like this." John furrowed his brow, "You were always the one in control of idiots like her."

Tiff sighed, "That was when we had Amber."

* * *

" I can't actually bear to watch this match."

"Why not?" Brit looked at me, "Oh. It's Tiff's match."

Estelle laughed, "This should be amusing. Everybody is so damn depressed now you're gone."

"You've been back?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Of course, I had to keep the whores in check."

I simply laughed, my attention on the match on the screen. Tiff looked nervous and five minutes later, when the match was over, she looked relieved.

"At least she won." Brit shrugged, "Can we watch The Hills?"


	5. Chapter 5: And The Angels Will Know Us

**Okay, so you all go "Update Soon!" and then you DON'T REVIEW.**

**Thanks a bunch guys. You just spurred me on more.**

**But, if you don't review, I WILL delete this.**

**Lyrics belong to Elton John.**

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**Chapter 5- And The Angels Will Know Us**

_Five months later._

**World Wrestling Entertainment is proud to announce the engagement of Jeff Hardy and Candice Michelle. The couple will be married in around six month's time.**

"Brit?!" I screamed, "Come and read this!"

Brit ran into the room, "What? Did somebody die?"

"Hell no! The plan worked!" I pointed to the screen, "How cute, they've done an interview too!"

"They're getting married? Damn, you were right." Brit laughed and sat next to me on the couch, "I want to read that interview."

"Your wish is my command...sort of anyway." I laughed and clicked on the link, maximising the screen as I did so.

"Alright, welcome to a very special interview here on , joining me right now he is the Intercontinental Champion, Jeff Hardy." Todd Grisham introduced Jeff as the camera panned out to show him on the picture.

Jeff smiled, "Thanks Todd. You know after Amber's car accident I thought I'd never be able to follow her wish and fall in love again, especially with a woman she despised when she was...awake."

"I understand that, Jeff. Fans have been in two minds about the news of your engagement, some congratulating you, others condemning you. How do you take that?"

"You know Todd, I'm very thankful for the fans that are happy for me, but still I understand that some will have a hard time grasping that I can love Candice and want to marry her whilst Amber is still alive."

"Hello Candice." Todd smiled at the shorter woman as she strolled onto the set, "Is it okay if I ask you some questions?"

Candice smiley broadly and folded her hands onto Jeff's shoulder, her huge diamond ring catching the light.

I turned to Brit, "Look at the size of that thing."

She snorted, "It's probably cubic zirconia. Saving the good shit for you."

We turned our attention back to the screen as Candice talked, "Sure thing, Todd. Ask away."

"Okay, this question is from John who lives in Jacksonville. His question to you Candice is if Amber wakes up, do you think your marriage will go ahead?"

"If she wakes up?" Candice sucked in a breath, "I don't think that's going to happen."

"Oh no, Candice, never!" I laughed, "That question was from one of my supporters, right?"

"Most probably. I wonder if Estelle sent a question in?" Britt asked me. Her question was soon answered as Todd asked Candice something else.

"Another question by way of Florida, this time from Elle M; Do you honestly think that Jeff loves you as much as he loves Amber? Yes, I said _loves_, you cheap skank. He doesn't love you like he loves Amber, in fact I bet if she was walking on the opposite side of the road, he'd push you in traffic to get to her. Don't you realise all you're doing is failing to fill the gaping hole Amber left in his life?" Todd read the question word for word from the paper and by the second line, I was in tears from laughing so hard.

I looked back to the screen and realised that Candice was in tears too as she choked out her answer, "Jeff loves me, okay?! He does! I deserve to be his wife, now that bitch is dead! Dead and buried!" She ripped her microphone off her shirt and ran off the screen, still crying.

I clicked off the interview, staring at my hands as I did so, "Dead and buried, huh? Can't wait to see her face when I come back to life."

* * *

"John, do you think I could reserve a bridesmaid dress for Amber just in case?" Tiff turned to her future husband as she finalised the orders for their upcoming wedding.

John sighed, "I don't see why not, baby."

I put my finger to my lips as I entered the room, from behind John and Tiff, to make sure the dress maker didn't spoil my surprise.

"I don't see why not either, Tiff. In fact, I think that suggestion is right on the money."

* * *

I handed Tiff a glass of water as John fanned her face, "That's the best reaction I've had so far, flower."

She gaped at me, "How? Why?"

"Now you're making no sense. Sit up and drink up, we have some talking to do." I tutted and rolled my eyes dramatically.

"Amber...who knows?" John stared at me, as if I were a ghost.

"Brittany and Estelle. And you, of course." I sat back into the chair as Tiff managed to get up and sit opposite me.

"Jeff?"

I smiled, "Now it's time to fill you both in."

* * *

Brit leafed through a sample book as I talked to her over the buzzing of the tattoo gun, "You should get something done."

"Yeah, I think I might do. On my shoulder."

"Right or left?" I asked as the artist moved up closer to my right shoulder blade to finish the top of the tattoo.

"Right, like yours, but not as big."

"Wise choice, this hurts like hell." I laughed, "It'll be worth it though."

An hour later, as Brit's right shoulder was being prepped for hers to start, mine was done.

I thanked my tattoo artist as I hopped up to check it out. The angel wing started a quarter of the way down my back and twisted elegantly in its coloured brilliance to my right shoulder blade. In the 'feathers' of the wing, the words "The Angels Will Know Us" shimmered in their cursive font.

"I adore it." I said, breathlessly and turned to show it to Brit.

"For what you just sat through to get that beauty tattooed on you, I hope to God that he realises what it means."

I just grinned as I hummed the tune to "Are you ready for love?" by Elton John.

_We'll serenade the world  
__With a lullaby so the angels will know us  
Angels will know us  
Are you ready, are you ready for love?_


	6. Chapter 6: Amber Alert

**Alright, so Christmas was kind to me. The pretty laptop that I'm currently typing away on is one of my presents! Ah, now I have a desktop and a laptop. Heh. Anyway, new chapter. Damn you Amber Mardeyn.**

**Charlie xoxo**

* * *

**Chapter 6- Amber Alert**

My only regret is not being there. I don't regret things easily; I never accept the guilt that causes regret in the first place. This time, I do. I wish that, right now, I was a different person and that Jeff loved that person. I wish I was stood right there, waiting for him when he walked through the curtain. If not a different person, I'd love to be myself, not bothering to wait for him to return to the back but to run out and join him in the ring, to hold up his arm as champion, to tell him that he's my champion. Right now, I am not brave Amber, who doesn't give a shit. I am sad, sorry Amber who misses the other half of my heart worse than I miss drinking. Which is a lot.

I only quit because of Jeff, because of how he cried when he'd first visited me. If I wasn't a…drunk, then I'd never have got myself in this mess. He stopped coming around a while ago now. I'd pretend like I'd forgotten the exact amount of time but…whatever. I haven't seen him in four months, two weeks and six days. Which is entirely too long for my liking. After watching Jeff win, I checked my iPhone to see five new text messages; two from Stephanie, one from Estelle, one from Brittany and one from…_Jeff_?!

**Steph (21:13): Amber. Do not watch Armageddon tonight, you hear me? I think I've been overruled. I don't want you hurting, okay? So don't watch it.**

**(23:10): You better not have just watched that. I know it's such a big night for you to miss, Amber. It'll all be worth it though, you know it will.**

**Estelle (23:06): Ams, I know you want to be here, so I left some pieces of you with Jeff. I'll be there in the morning, with Tiff and Brit. Love you.**

**Brittany (22:30): I just taped Jeff up. He talked about you a lot tonight, which is unusual for him. He was wearing the necklace that you bought him, the one he left by your bedside. I think he's going over, fruitcake. I think he's going to do it this time. None of us know the finish. See you tomorrow, love.**

**Jeff (23:30): I'm glad that you got to be a part of tonight; Estelle left me the necklace you got me, and a couple of photos of us from good times. She said that even though you couldn't be here in person, that you were there in spirit and that you wished you could be there more than any of us can imagine. **_**I **_**wish you could be here more than anybody could imagine, and that's why I wore the necklace to the ring. Mark noticed, he sort of patted my back with a sad smile. I'm sure you don't realise just how many people miss you, Amber. None of them miss you like me. This is getting kind of long now, so I'll guess I'll finish with the most important thing. I love you, and I always will.**

I dropped my phone and sat dumbstruck for a minute or two, before running upstairs and packing an overnight bag. I left food out for the dogs, grabbed my car keys and set off into the night.

* * *

"Amber?" John opened the door of his hotel room, "I'll go get Tiff?"

"You could always just let me in, John. I can see Tiff's legs behind you. Now hurry up, I can't afford for anybody to see me."

Tiff pushed the door closed behind me, before turning around and hugging me, "I'm sorry you missed it."

I released her with a small smile, "You and me both, darling. Did Jeff say anything about me to you?"

"Yeah, he just mentioned how much he missed you, and how much he regrets proposing to Trandice, stuff like that."

"STUFF LIKE THAT? TELL ME EVERYTHING!"

John laughed, "I'll be at the bar if you need me."

* * *

"Ah, John's laptop. It's nice to see you again. Gossip sites, please Tiff."

In the last hour, Tiff had filled me in on everything I'd been missing from backstage. I couldn't wait to return; I was almost excited about Jeff getting married so I could ruin it.

**Breaking News: Amber Mardeyn alive and well!**

**A reader of the site has just sent the following email to us:**

_**I'm staying in the same hotel as the superstars and I've just seen Amber Mardeyn arrive and rush up to a room on the fourth floor! No joke! She didn't look remotely ill, but seemed to be in a great hurry, probably to avoid being spotted.**_

_**Sorry Amber. She looked hot though, and seemed to be sporting some new ink on her right shoulder.**_

**Wow. If this is true, is a return on the cards for Ms Mardeyn? And just where the hell has she been?**

"What the actual fuck, Tiff? Do these people hide in bushes and wait for me to walk past them or something?" I exclaimed, "This could ruin everything."

She shook her head, "Say it was Estelle."

"Estelle's already out and about, probably at club. They'll know that it's a lie. Plus, they saw my tattoo." I nodded towards my shoulder and Tiff gasped;

"It's so pretty!"

I smiled, "I know."

My iPhone buzzed with a new message.

**Steph (00:40): Amber. 10AM tomorrow, we're having a meeting with my Dad. Don't be late, it's about your future.**

"Well, Tiff, I think our returning query may be answered by 11AM tomorrow." I showed her the mesaage, "Joy."

She shrugged, "I'm still in shock that you got rid of your Sidekick."

I pushed her gently, "Douchenozzle."


	7. Chapter 7: In Which Everything Changes

**This is the penultimate Amber and Jeff chapter. I have to give you an ending.**

**Silent Memory is now complete. A one shot will follow shortly.**

**Charlie x**

**

* * *

**

I returned, of course. I let the dirt sheets run me down, spreading hateful lie after hateful lie about my absence, the nicest of which was that I'd been in rehab.

That was the official excuse; I'd needed some rest, and my lifestyle was killing me. I had 'demons' to battle, and rehab was the only place for me.

The only thing that my 'accident' did was push Jeff further away from me. He realised he didn't want Candice, and after everything I'd put him through, he didn't want me either. Jeff returned to Beth around the same time he left the WWE for TNA. I had no choice but to be happy for them; I have no bearings on Jeff's life anymore. I have no control on the man that owned so much of me, and still could own it if he only snapped his fingers.

All I wanted was him to love me, I was consumed by it, driven to the brink by it. I did everything and anything I could think of to make him need me, and then I left him just to test if it was true.

Everybody leaves in the end, and everybody hurts.

* * *

To the boys in the back, it's water under the bridge. They know they'll never understand why, and they know that I'll never understand either.

My career is as normal as it could be. Everybody I had issues with has left, gone and done what they wanted to. Candice is happy, and I'm happy for her. I sent her a note when her baby was born, apologising for my actions and wishing her well. She was gracious enough to accept it.

People are too nice. Even Jeff forgave me for what I did.

He just couldn't forget.

* * *

As it turned out, I _did _go to rehab. Eventually, on my own terms, after I fucked up so badly I couldn't even remember my own name. Estelle has the dogs, after I became incapable of looking after them. Vince began to worry about me, threatened me with the termination of my contract. I laughed in his face.

I stared into the abyss, long and hard, and it stared back, cold.

Jeff always had his drugs, and I always had my drink. That was how we worked, a team. Unable to feel, unable to function without each other. I was his drug, he was my drink. When enough pieces break off of a person, they fit with just about anybody. With Jeff and I, we got tangled up, attached to each other like thorns made of dependency.

When we were eventually parted, it wasn't through prising the thorns open and escaping. We were torn apart and consumed by our own fire that we had no choice but to escape, lest we both die.

That had seemed like the better option at the time. And then he moved on.

Still dependent upon drugs, removed from reality completely, but still on. A new man, they proclaimed. A family man.

A free man.

And still, always, a liar.


End file.
